Ester

Hello. I havn't posted in forever, and I don't know if I will post anytime soon. Wow, I didn't mean for that to sound as hate filled as it did. I actually am in a rather good mood. I have talked to Patrick and Jed all day. Patrick told me not to read his LJ, so I won't. And Jed, Jed is Jed. GOtta love him. lol Well Jed told me that people have been emailing Justin asking if he and WHitney are dating. Well, I have to admit that they sort of act like it. Oh well. I don't even know why I am posting because no one ever reads this site anyway. Yup, I am going to expire this account and start a new one probably and then give my name to EVERYONE. Then maybe I will have a reason to update. Love all of you dearly. Liddu

Have you ever...

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 

08. Said "I love you" and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Done a striptease

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sunrise

15. Seen the Northern Lights

16. Gone to a huge sports game

17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

19. Touched an iceberg

20. Slept under the stars

21. Changed a baby's diaper

22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

23. Watched a meteor shower

24. Gotten drunk on champagne

25. Given more than you can afford to charity

26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

28. Had a food fight

29. Bet on a winning horse

30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill

31. Asked out a stranger

32. Had a snowball fight

33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier

34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

35. Held a lamb

36. Enacted a fantasy.

37. Taken a midnight skinny dip

38. Taken an ice cold bath

39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar

40. Seen a total eclipse

41. Ridden a roller coaster

42. Hit a home run

43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days

44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

45. Adopted an accent for an entire day

46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

47. Actually felt happy about your life

48. Had two hard drives for your computer

49. Visited all 50 states

50. Loved your job for all accounts

51. Taken care of someone who was an asshole to you later on in life

52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

53. Had amazing friends

54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

55. Watched wild whales

56. Stolen a sign

57. Backpacked in Europe

58. Taken a road-trip

59. Rock-climbed

60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice

61. Taken a midnight walk on the beach 

62. Sky-dived

63. Visited Ireland

64. Been in love

65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them

66. Visited Japan  

67. Bench pressed your own weight

68. Milked a cow

69. Alphabetized your records

70. Pretended to be a superhero

71. Sung karaoke

72. Lounged around in bed all day

73. Posed nude in front of strangers

74. Scuba-dived

75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye

76. Kissed in the rain

77. Played in the mud

78. Played in the rain

79. Gone to a drive-in theater

80. Done something bad to a sibling

81. Visited the Great Wall of China

82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog had discovered your blog

83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better

84. Started a business

85. Eaten cheese

86. Toured ancient sites

87. Taken a martial arts class

88. Sword fought

89. Played The Sims for more than 6 hours straight

90. Gotten married

91. Been in a movie

92. Crashed a party

93. Loved someone you shouldn't have

94. Kissed someone

95. Gotten divorced

96. Had sex at the office

97. Gone without food for 5 days

98. Made cookies from scratch

99. Won first prize in a costume contest

100. Ridden a gondola in Venice

101. Gotten a tattoo

102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on

103. Rafted the Snake River

104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"

105. Got flowers for no reason

106. Masturbated in a public place

107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything

108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug

109. Performed on stage 

110. Been to Las Vegas

111. Recorded music

112. Eaten shark

113. Had a one-night stand

114. Gone to Thailand

115. Seen Siouxsie live

116. Bought a house

117. Been in a combat zone

118. Buried one/both of your parents

119. Sang in front of hundreds alone

120. Been on a cruise ship

121. Spoken more than one language fluently 

122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone

123. Bounced a check

124. Performed in Rocky Horror

125. Read - and understood - your credit report

126. Raised children

127. Had sex

128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

129. Created and named your own constellation of stars

130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did

132. Called or written your Congress person

132a. Had them write back

133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

134. ... more than once?

135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking

137. Had an abortion, or your female partner did

138. Had plastic surgery

139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived

140. Wrote articles for a large publication

141. Lost over 100 pounds

142. Held someone while they were having a flashback

143. Piloted an airplane

144. Petted a stingray

145. Broken someone's heart 

146. Helped an animal give birth

147. Been fired or laid off from a job

148. Won money on a TV game show

149. Broken a bone

150. Killed a human being

151. Gone on an African photo safari

152. Ridden a motorcycle

153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph

154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced

155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

157. Ridden a horse

158. Had major surgery

159. Had sex on a moving train

160. Had a snake as a pet

161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing

163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours

164. Visited more foreign countries than US states

165. Visited all 7 continents

166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

167. Eaten kangaroo meat

168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground

169. Been a sperm or egg donor

170. Eaten sushi

171. Had your picture in the newspaper

172. Had 2 healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime

173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about

174. Gotten someone fired for their actions

175. Gone to college

176. Parasailed

177. Changed your name

178. Petted a cockroach

179. Eaten fried green tomatoes

180. Read The Iliad

181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read

182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.

183. and gotten banned from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you

184. Taught yourself art from scratch

185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt

187. Skipped all your school reunions

188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

189. Been elected to public office

190. Written your own computer language

191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream

 

192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

193. Built your own PC from parts

194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you

195. Had a booth at a street fair

196. Dyed your hair

197. Been a DJ

198. Found out someone you know via LiveJournal

199. Written your own role playing game

200. Been arrested

201. Been on LJ Drama

202. Worked for Starbucks

203. Made-out with a stranger

204. Got a matching tattoo with your mom/dad and sister/brother.

205. Got a phone call from someone on a t.v. series or movie star.

206. Had sex in a very public place.

207. Contemplated suicide and then felt like a moron about it later

 

The BOLD are the ones that I've actually done. I didn't realize I've done so much. cool

Liddu

Wow. It's been a while. Damian and I broke up. Today, actually. Ten minutes ago, actually. I wish I could tell you what is going on in my mind, but I'm not even sure of that anymore. I love him to death, but he is like my best friend. It would be like dating Koontz or Jed, no offence guys, but you're my brothers. I wish that I didn't feel like this and that I could make it all better. Everyone told me that I should be happy and not to base what I do on others feelings. I just don't know. Maybe I will update soon. School is almost out. Woot! Love all of you dearly. Liddu

Hey everyone! Sorry I havn't updated in a while. I have been sooo busy. I am going out with Damian (Zach whatever) and am so happy I feel like I could bust! ^_^ Well, I had a sci-fi meeting and a concert today. Both went really well. Damian stayed with me until I had to leave. It was so sweet. Then I walked him to his truck and he "guess what-ed" again. It was cute. Anyway, All is going really well and I get to go pick up my kitten tomorrow, who is by the way, the most adorable creature on the earth. Austin told me that he is going to tell Sharon that he still likes her tomorrow. Good for him, bad for Megan. I am deciding whether or not to tell her. Grr, I hate decisions. lol Well, I better go, Damian is "beeping" me. g'night all and sweet "halflife2" dreams!!! Liddu

Hey everyone! I'm going to have to make it really short because I am really really tired. I went to Cassie's house and lets just say we didn't get much sleep. Like none. It is 8 pm on Saturday and the last time I woke up from sleep was at 11 am on Friday. Do the math. That means that I have been awake for 33 hours at this moment.....lol well I am going to go and possibly go to bed..I am sorry Cat but I CANNOT make it to 11! Love all of you Goodnight! Lyndsae

PS...........Travis wrote me an email....so not what I expected, and not for the good I am afraid. And I think I may like a guy named Nick....but NO more details there... Don't even ask. I swear...don't.

... A girl and guy were speeding on a motorbike over 100 mph on the road...

Girl: 'Slow down, I'm scared!'
Guy: 'No, this is fun.'
Girl: 'No it's not. Please, its too scary!'
Guy: 'Then tell me you love me. '
Girl: 'Fine, I love you. Slow down!'
Guy: 'Now give me a BIG hug.'
-Girl hugs him-
Guy: 'Can you take my helmet off and put it on yourself? Its bugging me. '

(In the paper the next day):

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes were broken, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him and felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

(If there's someone you love this much, repost it in your journal.)

That is all...Thank you!!!! Lyndsae

How oh so very interesting. I find a guy a new one as a matter of fact...oh God I know, I know. Well I fall absolutely head over heels for him and look at him as somewhat of a God, and then a friend asks me out. Anyone that knows me at all knows that I DO NOT like to say no. I think it is just turn someone or something down for no good reason, but what am I supposed to do? I do like my friend but not nearly as much as my *sigh dreamily* God. I haven't any idea what to do or if my God is at all interested in me. This is where it gets interesting. I had a bet with like three people saying that if the friend asked me out I would just go up and ask the God out, and if the God said no, the friend gets a yes. Well, anyone that really knows me again knows that I don not turn down a bet or a dare, and they also know that certain guys have the power to make me 'weak at the knees' so to speak. Basically when it comes to this God, I have no balls, but I have been asked out by the friend, and so now I must do it. I told the friend I would have an answer on Sunday. So guess what. Either way I'll have a boyfriend on Monday....great.
Lyndsae

Hello Everyone! Wow it has been so long since I have updated. Sorry *shrugs* I have been busy. Well, Jed got his job at Subway! YAY! He is there right now I believe. Last night I went with him to play d&d. I actually had fun, whether he knows it or not...*I read your entry*. The game stuff was really confusing though. My parents think I am crazy. *was trying to explain the little I knew to them* lol Well, here is the interesting part, *sigh* here we go again! Well, Let me see, Jed and I are JUST friends! Please stop not believing me...*hug Jed, but you know how it all goes*, Alex is just a friend. His choice. Austin is my best friend in the world, but please don't freak when you read this Austin, *hopes he doesn't* I think I have feelings for him again. *sigh* I just don't know. I asked him to go to a family thingy tonight with me. Like a bonfire...Chelsae's birthday celebration. Well, I hope he can come. Nathan is just so confusing. *sorry Nate, but you are* He kisses me, after he breaks up with his girlfriend, then we don't talk, and he ends up with another girl! *sigh* Everyone loves Nathan these days. Oh well, I think above all else, I have fallen head over heels...again. For Travis Lynch. Yes I know...the sports announcer. You all know me, and I am a bit crazy. I think he is just amazing, and other things, right Cat? ;) Well, it isn't one of those big crushes that you never talk to, we do talk and stuff. Well, thats enough about my boy problems. Oh oh oh! I got my blue contacts back, for those of you I didn't see on Friday. They are so cool. Not to mention I have been getting the attention from them that I used to. I never really realized how much I enjoy attention. Oh well! Good Lord I just realized how much I wrote. hehe Well, I'll be off. Love all of you dearly! Lyndsae/Liddu/Twinkie/Bertha(thanks Shaina)/Whatever I left out *good lord I forgot all my nicknames* haha...well I really am gone! TOOTLES!

Hello! Well I went to the movies with Austin and Megan on Saturday. Then last night I stayed at Megan's house and talked to Jed for a really long time about... forks and stuff. Well, then I went to church with Megan, and then had to babysit at the army thingy. Now I'm talking to Jed again, this time on the computer, about kissing and not likeing people. Well, I am going to Martin tomorrow and its picture day. And I am riding the bus with Nathan. HA HA I hope that goes ok.....

Megan- here is the report for tomorrow:
Alex- Martin
Austin- Nothing thank God
Nathan- Bus and Second Period
Jed- Lunch and Morning...ha ha when I leave Naters

Well, don't try to put meaning to these things, they are inside jokes and probably sound weird to you normal people...anyway that is all Lyndsae

Hello everyone. This day hasn't gone as bad as I thought it would go. I would have thought it wouldn't go at all, but Oh Boy! was I wrong. I went to visit Nathan, and lets just say it didn't go bad at all. I kissed Nathan Napier....twice. Holy Shit. I me I kissed Nathan. Holy Shit. Oh My God. I am just registering it. I can't believe it. This is all that I wanted to happen for ever, but all I can think about is Alex. Is that bad? Shit, I need to stop thinking. Anyway, I'm off. Love all! Lyndsae

boring day....no school.....mom went to work...sorry Nathan.

Jasmin and Nathan broke up. No school tomorrow. I want Nathan to come over and watch movies. I want Jed to come over and meet my mom. I want to talk to Alex. I want to do a lot of things, so Please Dear God, let me have the luck I've had for the last few days and let this go perfectly! Lyndsae

Hello! Today was good for the most part. I went to a leadership conference today. I also had to miss see you at the pole, because of the leadership conference. *sigh* On the con. it was really boring. The speaker was funny though. His name was Mark something. He was like one of those almost gay but married guys. It was great. Then we went to O'Charleys and ate lunch. I told the waitress that it was my friends birthday and it really wasn't but she got sang to and they brought us all cake. Yup, well on the trip home I talked to Travis Lynch and he was asking why I was a vegetarian and then he invited me to church. He is funny. Well then I got my usual post-it from Alex and it said that he'd had a really shitty day and all that jazz. I wonder why it was so bad! Well I found out that he doesn't like Randi so I wonder who he does like. hmmmmmmm, well I'm stuck. I had advanced choir, then church. Church was good. My youth visited the Attic, and I had Kendall! He was so cute tonight. He kept looking at me and saying something like....inzia, so that was close enough to Lyndsae for me. *big grin* I got asked a billion times if he was mine; that was upsetting. Do I look like I could have had a baby? Well I asked a close friend this and I won't say whom, but he was like, "Hell yeah you do! With those hips....damn!" While not really that flattering *blushes* it was kind of nice to get a compliment. Even if I look like I could have had a baby. Well thats about it. I'm depressed now. Well thanks Austin for the hug! *hug*, and Megan I love you dear! *hug*, and Jed thank you for the hug and the usual 'have a good day' *huggles* I LOVE everybody! Lyndsae

Ok feeling the need to post it.... I am not having a good day. Just keep in mind that this poem was written a while ago...So I'm NOT doing it anymore. So here goes:

The darkness surrounds me,
Encircling my ever fading soul,
Engulfing my hopes, dreams, and life,
It leaves my fear, despair, and empty shell,
Leaving me to wallow in my own little Hell,
My life is worthless,
It has no point,
I don't see why I should go on,
The cuts I can't make deep enough,
The blood is my only security,
Always Red,
Red,
Red,
Oozing down my arm,
Keeping mr on the line of INSANITY!

My Life (My second most depressing poem ever)

Its like I'm watching from the outside,
Not really living my life,
No more than a movie,
One that I'm fading out of,
All the times when it seems to look up,
It always leads to something worse,
Nothing to Love,
No reason to live,
Hey I have a joke,
My Life

I might post the top most depressing poem ever in a few minutes. It depends on what I'm feeling then. Thank you Lyndsae

Hi. I had a good day for the most part. I went to Good Samaritans to try to find some cool old stuff. No luck there, however. The rest of the day was really slow until about 7. I went to see The Notebook. It was awesome. I really liked how they set up the storyline and such. Well, after the movie was my problem. When we went in I saw a few old friends of mine. Two of which I had dated. Well, one of them said hi so I said hi back. Then I stepped out of the car. I had a skirt on, God forbid, and one of the guys whistled at me. I just shrugged it off. Then after the movie was over, we all came outside and they all kept staring at me and laughing...AT ME. They would conveniently say stuff to where I could JUST hear it. All about me going to Stone, and then Martin, and becoming 'punk'. I don't classify myself as punk, but I suppose to a bunch of Abercrombie, Hollister, Aeropostale, and sooooooo much more preppy clothed peoples I would be. Granted I had my Old Navy jacket on which was almost as long as the skirt, I was not dressed any different than them in my eyes. I told my dad about it of course, but he just made it worse. Saying that they were only jealous...blah blah blah...Why are parents so sure that their kids are the best? Oh well, I suppose that'll be enough complaining for tonight. Oh yeah, for those of you that this concerns, Brady was at the movies too! Love all of you! Lyndsae
P.S. The movie didn't help me feel any better about being single. *sigh*

theOtaku.com: What Color Link Are You?

Hello everyone. This has been an interesting week. I found out that a friend likes me, though I won't say whom. I also decided to try to skate again after my accident over the summer. (Don't ask!) My skating is terrible. It's like I've never even picked up a board. *sigh* I feel so empty. It's like when you skate you feel a sense of freeness, and individuality. You can feel like no one could ever hurt you or tell you that you're doing something wrong. Now, because of my stupidity in thinking I was the queen of the world, so to speak, I am back at square one. That wasn't the only disappointment this week, either. I got second in the tournament for the water bottle in fencing. AHHHHHH! I should have.... never mind. I need to learn to let go. Well I had a pretty good week with Alex. I have a heart post-it in my locker that says I Love Nerds, and I called him a nerd for some reason. Well, everyone knows he writes me notes and puts them in my locker, so he must have seen the sticker, because he said, and I quote, "If I'm a nerd then you love me, and that can't be a bad thing *wink*!" Then I got a really sincere hug and a have a good weekend. Then I went out by the gym to be picked up and he was there. Well, so was my friend Katelyn Graham. Supposedly, Katelyn and Alex are 'talking'. Well there goes my love life. No!
I totally forgot to mention Nathan....well if he finds out about this journal or one of you tell him I'll kill you with my bare hands by stapling you to the wall one at a time.....*smiles mischievously*. Anyway, Jasmin is cheating on him. She told me so herself, and I saw the other guy. They were actually holding hands, and he was SOOOOOOO ugly it wasn't even funny! YAY! Anyway, I suppose that is enough. I have to babysit until 11 tonight, so I won't be on MSN until possibly later. Love all of you very much!!!! Lyndsae

Hello All! Well today served its purpose as being the first day back from the weekend. I have some information on my boy (what, octagon now?) Well, Alex likes me, but don't get too excited. It is one of the I really like her, but I wouldn't date her yet. Maybe with time. *sigh* SCREW THIS! I'm going to go fall in love with a nice, sweet, and respectable guy that will treat me like a queen. Oh hell! Who am I kidding? Anyway, I almost got my first kiss since the terrible breakup in July. Don't get excited on that either though. It was only a close hug that our heads went the same way. (I love you, Jed. *hug*) Well I am going to go try to win Alex over with my beauty sleep...HA! Fat chance! Well, I really do have to go but for anyone that can be up past 9:30 (stupid parents) I will get on around 1 or 2 tonite. Well, I'm going to go because Jed is impatient. Love you all! Lyndsae

Hello everyone. Today was quite interesting actually. I went to the mall in Knoxville to get some clothes. The second I walk in I get whistled at and OMG! was he gorgeous! Anyway it made me realize how much it sucks to live in Crossville. Be thankful you can get out Jed. (*hug* I don't want you to go though.) Well I got a Linkin Park shirt and a Green Day shirt and some pants from Old Navy. I fell in love with a pair of shoes, but my mother didn't like them. Well I have ways to get them though. "What do you want for Christmas,Lyndsae?"..."All I want are those shoes we saw at Hot Topic....and that is all." *wink wink* Well other than that, I saw around a hundred hot skater boys that I wouldn't have minded to go home with. Well I suppose that's it really. Oh yeah, for all the devoted fans of my daily soap opera life, I have decided to try things with Alex. I am tired of waiting on Mr. Napier, but I always will be I am afraid. Tomorrow my sister has cheer leading practice, so I get to hang out with Alex until 4 o'clock. YAY! Well I'm out for the night. Love to anyone and everyone. God knows we need it. Lyndsae